August 12, 2008
-
The days are really ticking by. I can't say that I mind.
Yesterday was spent at the track again, today was in the clinic. I love the challenge of it all, but it really exhausts me and makes me feel like a real retard sometimes. I love it though, I love that it's not easy, that it is a struggle, but most of all, I love that it is getting easier.
For a while I had been questioning whether or not I actually want this...I wasn't sure if I could do it...if I wanted to anymore. But I know I do. It's just that I forget easily and forgot that at the end of the day, alongside the exhaustion is also accomplishment. And though it's a struggle now, it is getting easier, that I can do it...and that I'm not actually as dumb as I look. I know I can do this job, and I know that I want to.
With the house hunting over, furniture hunting is the new obsession. I just have an idea of what to get done before Mark gets here and I have put a lot of pressure on myself to do it. I know I need to take a chill pill though; not my strong suit, but I need to learn.
Getting a little bit of work-work in...and trying not to panic. The few projects that were open have gone to others and I'm still at 8 hours a month. =( I guess I don't deserve work, and I have had a good run, but I'm anxious. I hate worrying about money. The December release was my last shot at getting a project...and now that just about all of that has been given out, it's definite that I won't have the opportunity to get any more work hours. I know he has to take care of those whose livelihoods and families depend on them first, but it just leaves me high and dry. Sigh.
Recent Comments