December 5, 2008
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Made it. I passed all my classes; no supps even! I'm officially a 5th year student. This time next year, I'll have finished vet school.
Things are still taking a while to sink in. In a way I don't want it to be true. I think I'm just adamant about staying where I am. I want to be stuck. I am afraid to move forward, but I don't know why. No reason in particular...just think life is hard. And I'm tired...too tired to want to try. I'm stuck; forced to keep at it because of my sense of duty, but really wanting to just let it all go.
I don't get why...when everything is so good...why it still feels so difficult. Just makes me feel worse because I know none of it is justified. Makes my head spin.
The past week was good. Spent time in Farm Services...learned a lot, but had a hard lesson in "health and safety" when I burned my right hand on a disbudding iron. Hand is a bit crunchy now, but I'm sure it's not as bad as it could be. Richard and Kevin were great and I had a lot of fun doing PA stuff. It made me second guess my smallies choice, but Elly reminded me that it's great fun because there are other students and people around...disbudding 150 calves is only tolerable in a group. I can't imagine doing all of them alone. Boring.
Next week will be at CityVets working on smallies stuff...will hopefully have a functional hand by Monday.
Mark's birthday today/tomorrow...had Hell pizza as a treat, but wasn't as spectacular as I remembered. Stomach is a bit unhappy from the meal. Excited about tomorrow...not sure what it holds, but just want to spend it with my birthday boy.
Tired. Shower. Sleep.
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