February 9, 2008

• Saturday 9-Feb-2008,
  10:20pm, Perth

  It’s my last night alone…and if I was fractionally (and by
  that I mean a whole hell of a lot) less misanthropic, I’d be out on the town
  partying it up with the rest of the city.

  Nope, instead, I am holed up in my room, eating my microwave
  dinner and, what else, but writing and thinking about stuff.  I had every intention of going out for a nice
  sit-down meal and just relaxing, but the first place I wanted to go to had
  zilch for parking and after circling for 15 minutes, I headed toward the second
  place.  I couldn’t find that one…the
  street was dark and sketchy so I high tailed it back to the city and grabbed a
  kebab.  It wasn’t nearly as good as the
  one I get in Palmy and was a million times more messy.  So much so that I got kebab juice all over
  myself – albeit, I was trying to drive and eat at the same time, but
  still.  I wound up back at the hostel
  reeking of kebab.  Sexy.

  I was still ravenous so I walked over to the convenience
  store get a Lemon Lime and Bitters, a thing of Ravioli, and a Kit Kat bar.  If that’s not quality, I don’t know what
  is.  =) 
  Now I’m stuffed full of junk food, hanging out in my skivvies, and
  celebrating my last night of freedom before I have to be civil to a bunch of
  strangers starting tomorrow.  I’m really
  digging this; every celebration should involve junk food and the utmost comfort
  of only t-shirts and underwear. 

  Overall, I’d say today was awesome. 

  I talked to Mark this morning and smoothed over the most
  recent of my “episodes”, and then drove out to the Busselton Jetty for a stroll
  and a swim.  It was really pretty and I’m
  glad I didn’t stop in Mandurah like I had wanted (out of sheer laziness).  The snorkeling was mint and though I didn’t
  stay in too long because of the choppiness of the water and the abundance
  jellyfish, it was enough to warrant the 6.5 hour RT drive.

  On my drive home, I got really sleepy, and actually pulled
  over for a nap.  I couldn’t sleep, but
  instead had this awesome moment in the car while enjoying the shade, the
  breeze, and the incredibly clear sky.  It
  was a moment where I really appreciated what I have now and what the future
  will bring.  It was a moment of intense
  love and longing; of hope and happiness. 
  It was surreal.  Not long after, I
  had a brain flash and wanted to get back to the city as quickly as possible so
  I could propose to Mark what I was thinking. 
  NB it’s not THAT proposal.

  My mind wouldn’t stop racing the entire drive back.  I kept thinking of what I was about to do and
  whether or not it was wise…whether or not I was ready…if we were ready.  I think its actually a really big step.  It catapults our INTENT to create an “our”
  life into the reality of practice.  It
  would turn our words of commitment, trust, and devotion into action…and the repercussions
  could be devastating if things didn’t work out. 
  It’s scary stuff.  I think my mind
  ran in circles, but my heart was sure and I just couldn’t wait to get back to Perth
  and make my phone call.  =)

  We talked for almost three hours…but it felt like no time
  had passed at all.  =)  It felt awesome.

  • 5:49 pm
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