February 23, 2008

• It’s been a few days and I’m finally admitting to myself
  that the vacation is over and that it’s time to get back into the school/work
  swing of things.

  Perth was
  great…I learned a lot while there.  Not
  only did I get to talk to 2 very smart Sr. Vets about vetty/career stuff, but I
  got to know them as people…with demands on their lives put there by themselves,
  their partners, or their children...

  I had a great time touring and seeing different things and
  really enjoyed the time spent running around or just lazing about doing nothing
  but knitting.

  I even had a few epiphanies…I know that I’m always trying to
  draw a line between something and something else (e.g. being a brat and voicing
  a need) but I’ve realized that it’s not a line…it’s a margin; sometimes a very
  wiggly margin.  I also had to re-learn
  that it’s not my responsibility to change anyone but myself…I will still hope
  the world for the people I care about, but I am slowly learning that they have
  to take the reins; it’s not my job. 
  Lastly, I am beginning to realize that I’m not such a bad person after
  all…and that opening up and just being me is good enough…no one really expects
  otherwise.  It was always me who put the
  expectations to morph, on myself.
   

  Some memories from the past few days:
  I stitched up a duck!! 
  A live one even!!
  “The vet told me to blow harder…so I did!”
  “You’re here for your education and my entertainment.”
  Head over handlebars while mountain biking…and finally
  remembering why I don’t like mountain biking.
   

  Speaking of mountain biking, I had a few thoughts while I
  was on the trail…I think the whole experience is kind of a metaphor for life.  You have to aim your gaze for where you want
  to go – not for where you don’t want to go (because inevitably, where your eyes
  aim is where you go).  It’s also bumpy as
  hell so you have to hang on…and sometimes you’ll just eat shit.  That may shake your confidence a bit…but as
  long as you pick up and keep going, you’ll learn, get over your fear, and then
  begin to enjoy yourself again.  I guess
  it just rang a bell because of a few recent conversations about focus, forward
  thinking, a positive attitude, and faith…ultimately, it’s trusting your bike
  and keeping your focus on where you want to go that will get you over those
  rough patches of track.  So I guess,
  trusting the universe and keeping your focus on where you want to go will do
  the same for rough patches in life.

  What now?  Well…tons
  of stuff to do, including some fun stuff like posting pics and stuff.  Otherwise, I have to clean the room, get some
  cooking done, think out what I want my daily schedule to look like, and
  possibly head up to campus to get a crack into planning the rest of the year…

  Other things I shouldn’t forget:

  Call Robbie, reschedule the clinic appt., look into
  Healsville stuff, MSWCC, work emails/hours stuff, gym…I’m sure there’s more but
  that’s all I’ve got for now.

  Almost time to board the flight back to Palmy…sigh.

  • 10:49 pm
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